Friday, February 12, 2010

At a Medium Pace.

I was just thinking about both of my loyal followers and wanted to find a song to express how I feel about you. It's really your support, kind thoughts and prayers to 6 lb 7oz dear lord baby Jesus that keep me going. So here's to you, hot babe loyal followers.





Yes, that was for you. I think we should hug or something.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Radda Radda Radda Radda. And Shit.

Schnitzel is pretty cool.

Okay, no lame ass political rants- I promise. I don't know what came over me. I didn't get laid for a couple of days over the Mrs. "special time in the red tent" and next thing you know I started thinking about less important things than freaky sex. But I'm all better now.

Freaky sex is important- in the immortal words of the Sheriff:



Words to live by.

I really have nothing important to say, something that I think both of my reads will appreciate. I recently noticed that I lost a reader, giving me a 33% decrease in readership. This would be very negative if this were a business. However, this is actually worse as the reader I lost is the one who posted pictures of her tits in every blog. Sad really. I liked looking at her tits.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The bird.



This is cool. Wiki the bird.

What do you mean I can't shoot people?


Here are my actual political views that I generally don't share. Don't bother arguing your point of view with me. I don't really care what you think.


1) For the first time in my life I voted for a Democrat for President, Obama. My favorite candidate was actually Ron Paul. I didn't think he would be a good president, but by and large I liked what he had to say. I didn't vote for McCain for two reasons- I think he's too aggressive and reactionary and I think Sarah Palin was evidence of that. I don't think she's stupid, but I think she was in no way ready for the international stage. Bush was a fucking shitmonkey.


2) Am I happy with my choice of Obama? Not really. For example, I am a huge proponent of health care reform, but I think we should reform the system that we already have- not gut it and do something completely different. Simply because what we have right now is broken, but we know exactly how it is broken. By implementing something totally different we would just get a bunch of problems that we haven't experienced before and be broken again. I did vote for him to shake things up, leading us away from the conservative Christian government we had before- but I think it's not working.


3) And this is a big one, we are Americans. We might disagree about a lot of things, but in the end we are Americans. Our nation is falling because we have become fat, lazy, and stupid. All because of our own selfishness. We as a people have allowed things to get way out of hand and as a result we are giving up our civil liberties left and right. The American Revelation was started because we were pissed about 5% taxation. What the fuck is happening now?


4) Our current "wars." I support our troops 100%, but our leaders who sent them overseas are douche bags. we have the finest military the world has ever seen. But the Military is a weapon. Like any weapon, it will reliably kill whatever it is pointed at. The way I see it, there are two reasons to go to war: 1)An immediate threat to our nation or 2) out of a desire to conquer and increase our holdings. Now I get why we invaded Afghanistan. The American people demanded blood, so Bush had to give it to them. Simple as that. I honestly don't know if the blood we got was the right blood or not. Our invasion of Iraq was more to do with #2, and I'm okay with that- but let's call a spade a spade. We invaded both countries to get to the oil reserves and pipelines. Okay, cool. What's the big fucking deal?


5) As a nation we are fat, stupid, selfish, and generally not worth pissing in a boot for. And we choose to be this way. Get up off of your fat fucking ass and do something. If you are not happy with who and what you are, shut the fuck up. You did this to yourself in many ways. Don't fucking whine to me, get to work. Maybe our government has gotten so out of hand that we can't do anything about it, but it'll collapse under it's own weight anyway- and good riddance. But what are you doing for you? America is the greatest prison in the world because most Americans actually think that they are free. You are not. You are imprisoned by your greed and selfishness. You are imprisoned by credit cards, McDonald's, Wal-Mart, and most of all your own selfish belief that you are free. You believe that freedom has been achieved, and therefore you turn your back on it like it's a job done and over. That's why you are not free. You are a prisoner of yourself. Asshole.


In the end, you are a prisoner of your own mind.






Totally Tits!

That's one of my favorite sayings. I like it because it makes me think of tits.





I like tits.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Dr. Venture for President

I started fucking with some of my more conservative friends on face book about this whole Obama in Massachusetts thing. I stated that I don't give a fuck about any of it. They took this to mean that I don't care about this country, the economy, the overall state of the world, and whether or not Jesus is going to show up to save out asses. What I really meant was that I don't care what they think. Furthermore, if I am so inclined, I will post something to fuck with their opinions no matter what they are. Boy, they'd be really pissed if I told them what I think of organized religion. I'm not a misogynist like Paul- I loves the pussy too much for the hatin'.

Don't get me wrong I do actually have my own opinions, but I don't think that they matter to anybody but me.

So. The wife is away with her cousin in Lexington, KY to hang out. Hopefully she will get the break that she wanted and come back a happier, healthier Mrs.

Anyway, here I sit. Alone with the dog and only the light of the computer screen to keep me company. I have, however, found the solution to all of my problems. This is also a solution that I believe can help you. I feel that this short video has summed up the teachings of the Buddha and the eternal Doa all in one. Please watch this and enjoy. I think that you will be enlightened.




Oh, wait. No, that's not it. Yeah, it's this one. But hey, you can still show me your female genitals if you want to. I don't mind.

Yeah, here's the one on Doaism.




Not giving a fuck is AWESOME! Budddha tested and Jesus approved! Loa Tzu would like it also, but he didn't even give enough of a fuck to watch the video.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Gots' to Get My Sweerve On.

On January 24 I will be 35 years old. And I don't really give a shit that I'm older. For some people birthdays have a special form of neuroses all their own, but for me it's a day all about me- and I'm okay with that. I only get pissed when the day isn't all about me.

I know I haven't blogged in a while, but I haven't really had much all that interesting to say. I'm working my ass off, but business is going well. As far as I can tell my marriage is going well. The exchange student is working out fine. Well, she is a teetotaler, and therefore as you know is cramping my style. No more sending the kids upstairs so I can perform drunken cunnilingus on the wife while she watches House Hunters International. The International part is important when performing television viewing mustache rides. FYI.

In our case she likes to wear her love making socks.



I'm more of a two hour kinda guy. Because two hours of freak is better then one, ya know what I'm sayin'? That's right.

So, uh, fuck you I'm drinking whiskey as we speak.