Sometimes a locked door is a wonderful thing to have in the morning. So there I was, asleep, possibly snoring in a very sexy way, looking cute and cuddly with my usual morning wood. And like all women who have been married for over 10 years, rather then molest me while I sleep as she once did, my wife thought this would be a fine opportunity to work on a knitting project in peace.
And then disaster struck. For her knitting project. For you see, like the undead hordes of hell, the unholy host from which all evil and fornication are spawned, like the first awakening of youthful lust corrupted by a lifetime of sick and twisted yet very creative thoughts- I awoke.
A crazed look in my eye, I spied her non-heaving bosom. Her sleep pants, not revealing the hotbed of desire that I knew awaited my attention, gently refusing to contour even remotely to her curvaceous body.
Seeing that I was awake she looked me deeply in the eye, in a way that I knew suggested that she wanted me so much she couldn't help herself. Or maybe it meant something else....
"I'm out of coffee. When you get up to take a leak bring the carafe." And then she hid her lustful thoughts behind what I knew to be the false appearance of intense focus on her knitting.
Sexily, I went pee and got her some coffee. And while I was at it, got some for me as well. I finished my cup with a grin that was sure to make her want me more then anything, at least, if I could get her to look at me.
She started talking about the different kind of yarn she was knitting with and why it had certain qualities. I took this as an invitation to make my move.
I started kissing her ankle and then slowly moved up her leg, then down the other. She didn't stop me- not because she was interested- but mostly I think she just didn't notice my advances.
I removed her sleep pants. This did not escape her notice.
"Don't be surprised if I'm too focused on this for much response. I have to count rows."
With this, I went to work, utilizing the skills acquired from decades of cunnilingus experience, and a training manual I once read, I slowly began to tease her with my tongue....
To make a not so long, but rather involved story short, I was able to change her focus.
