woo wooo woooo Dream Weaver....

I woke up at 3:30AM- but now it's 4:46AM. My youngest daughter got in bed with us because we just finished watching Spiderwick. When I rented this movie I didn't realize that it would be so scary. In fact it was just fine until the very end. She obviously had a hard time going to bed, but in she went anyway. After about half an hour she came back out and said

"Daddy, there's a monster in my wall."

So, I went back to her room with her and asked her where. She pointed to a wall and said, "over there." So I get the brilliant idea of getting a candle cup and telling her it was full of fairy dust that was magically and scientifically proven to be monster repellent. Yes, I am a wonderful parent. She reluctantly goes to bed and falls asleep after only coming back out one more time.

She waited until I was asleep for about an hour before she climbed in to bed with us. I was able to sleep for a couple of more hours, but then being scrunched on my side in the middle of the bed eventually leads to my shoulder popping out of the socket, making it very difficult for me to sleep. Intense pain has that effect on me.

So I woke up in pain physically and started thinking about something more painful. My marriage. I guess all I can say about that is that if she was ever mine she will come back to me. If she does not, then it has been a fun ride. Or as Wayne said to Garth

"If you spew and she bolts it was never meant to be. If you blow chunks and she stays she is yours forever." Or something to that effect- it's been a very long time since I have seen the movie.





The problem is that though her duties are easily replaced, even after being together for a decade "Dream Weaver" still plays in my head every time I see her. I can only hope she feels the same way.

What the fuck is going on?

I have no idea.

Here I am. 34 years old.

I've owned my own business for 10 years.

I've been married for 11 years. My wife is beautiful, intellegent, and funny.

I have two children.

Life should be perfect, right? Right....

Last week I filed for bankruptcy. I'm actually happy about this. I'm not a moron-my business flooded in raw sewage. It was great.

Last year I fired all of my employees. Fuck em. I got tired of working my ass off to support those lazy bums.

We would have three children, but one who would be 8 right now died the day after her third birthday of croup.

I have spent the past five years fighting depression because of the dead kid thing. I have now peaked my head out of the sand. I'm finished with that.

Even then, I have been working my ass off to support my wife and two kids. Last year I took on a second job to make ends meet. They finally are.

I implemented a date night with my wife. We go out every Friday and have a wonderful time.

I thought things were looking up....more on that next time.