This is sort of like confessional for me. I know it's been a while, but I also know that nobody really gives a fuck anyway. Besides, the Rapture is supposed to be this weekend anyway- so Jesus has better things to do than listen to me whine.
This morning on the radio they were talking to a women who's fiancee had died so she decided to get a tattoo in memory of him. I'm cool with that. She very rationally decided that she shouldn't get his name or his picture out of respect for her future relationships, so she decided to get a tattoo of his favorite car.
So I've been doing some thinking. The way I see it, since the wife gets a whole bunch of life insurance money when I die I want her to get a tattoo in my honor should I die before her. And I of course would want her to have something respectful and tactful in terms of a memorial tattoo as well. Something that is special and expresses the love that I have for her. Something that subtly sums up our relationship of mutual respect and most of all, communication.
Here it is.
And I think she needs to have this tattooed in the tradional "tramp stamp" position. So that way whoever she's humping after I'm dead and gone will see this.
And when they opened up the plane it was five minutes before the empty beer cans stopped hitting the ground.
China is a filthy place. Polluted. I doubt if the people there realize how absolutely filthy the air is.
So there was this dude from Oregon at the conference I was at named Brian. This is in fact his real name, and yes it is that Brian you are thinking of. After the second day Brian decides he wants to get a massage at the hotel we're all staying at. So he goes down to the 3rd floor and, looking at the price chart, decides to get he most expensive one listed. After all, it's only about $50- right? So, being a typical Chinese Massage, it began with three dudes in speedos rubbing him down and ended in a happy ending. Brian was so excited to get said happy ending that he tried to draw it out as long as possible. So he says.
I didn't get a handjob while I was there. But I did learn that you can get a hooker for 450 rmb per half hour. I didn't get one of those either, though I did try to convince my room mate to fork out 450 so we could get two hookers to do a dyke show for us. He wouldn't bite.
Probably for the best.
Oh, no, wait. That's a cop. Eh, what the difference.
