Ouch.....My Head.....

Right now I'm getting a lap dance from a four year old. This is not my idea of a good time.

There seems to be a law of the universe that Einstein forgot:

When a charged particle moves through a magnetic field B, it feels a force F given by the cross product:

(F x V)q = Delta B

F= Child's foot
q= Electrical charge of the foot
V= Velocity vector
B= My balls

Thereby proving that a child's foot is in fact magnetically drawn to a man's testicles.



or

Newton's second law

Lex II: Mutationem motus proportionalem esse vi motrici impressae, et fieri secundum lineam rectam qua vis illa imprimitur. The change of momentum of a body is proportional to the impulse impressed on the body, and happens along the straight line on which that impulse is impressed. A small child's impulse is to kick men in the balls.

F= MA

F= How much force the foot hits my balls with
M= The mass of the child hitting said balls
A= The amazing amount of acceleration that said child can develop in a very short distance.



However, that isn't what I was talking about when I said Ouch, My Head.

Fearless and intrepid followers, this may come as a shock given what you know about me. I have a hangover. Last night was wonderful and I do not regret having said hangover in the least. Please sit back and enjoy my tail. I mean tale.

It all started when I got off of work early. No clients showed up so I left. The girls were at Goodwill (a surprisingly great place to shop) looking for Easter dresses so I met them there. We then went to Applebee's for dinner as it is across the street from the Goodwill.

The wife and I shared a meal and had a few drinks. We had a great conversation about who knows what and I mildly flirted with the obese waitress. Then we came home to tweet and facebook- sharing each others comments as we wrote them, laughing and being silly. The game of course being who can say the cleverest thing.

Then we went back to the bedroom. I'll leave the rest to your imagination, but the hour and a half romp in the hay that followed was the legendary stuff of legend. I'm a little sore this morning and I like it. This is not uncommon for us.

We've broken three beds in the past couple of years. So we got a metal framed bed since wood is too fragile. The bed hasn't broken- but I did give her sexual whiplash a couple of weeks ago. Now I have to be careful not to fuck her so hard since it still hurts. I have to do more teasing these days. At least for a little bit. Last night she only came two or three times. I generally prefer five or six more in an hour and a half time frame. But I'll take what I can get.

In conclusion I for one had a wonderful night.